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Lynnijah

Lynnijah Dedicated

on Jan 14, 2018 at 7:53 AM

Declining Wedding Gifts

So I wanted to know would it be rude for me and my FH to only ask for money and gift cards for our wedding gifts. I say this because I know for weddings people like to buy china and house appliances and we just don't have the room for that because we are still living in an apartment. I do not want to sound greedy or rude but we simply do not have the room for anything extra. Any advice???

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ThePeoplesBride

ThePeoplesBride VIP

on Jan 14, 2018 at 7:59 AM
Just don't sign up for a registry. People will get the hint.
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Kristen328

Kristen328 Expert

on Jan 14, 2018 at 7:59 AM
Asking for money is poor etiquette, but if you don't register anywhere your guests will get the hint.
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JustKidding

JustKidding Expert

on Jan 14, 2018 at 8:00 AM
Don't register and people will gift cash.

However, if someone gives a gift, declining it and saying "we want money" is rude no matter your reason. If a friend did this to me if I tired to give them a gift, I'm not sure we would be friends after that.
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Chelsea Devoted

on Jan 14, 2018 at 8:03 AM
Typically the best way to do this is to put together a list of upgrades to appliances you already have as your registery. Then from there don't add anything extra. Replacements won't take up extra space as you can get rid of the old stuff.
If someone is throwing you a bridal/couples shower you will have more trouble as that is more when people bring actual gifts. It would be rude to not have something for everyone attending the shower to bring you.
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Kourt

Kourt Devoted

on Jan 14, 2018 at 8:04 AM
I agree with not making a registry. People will usually resort to gift cards or cash. However, some people will still provide you with gifts. If they provide a gift receipt, you could return for store credit. If not, you may need to find somewhere to store it for a while. Bottom line is that people will still provide you with gifts.
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Alforev

Alforev VIP

on Jan 14, 2018 at 8:10 AM
Don’t make a registry but don’t ask for anything either.
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LaChambra Just Said Yes

on Jan 14, 2018 at 8:16 AM
I don't think it's rude. It's all about how you present your request. Our wedding website and invitations state "the bride and groom would greatly appreciate monetary gifts". We're not declining gifts but our guest know that we'd prefer monetary gifts. If your guest ask why you don't have a registry you can explain why. For example, our website explains to our guest that we're planning for our honeymoon and the purchase our first home in June. So hopefully everyone is more understanding and less offended when they know the reason of your request.
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Alana

Alana VIP

on Jan 14, 2018 at 8:28 AM
Even if you don't register people will still probably buy a gift. If they do please don't decline it. Take the gift. Send a thank you card. If you honestly don't need it, find a homeless shelter or someone lesa fortunante and give it to them. Telling people we only want or need money is rude and tacky. Please don't do that
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Susan

Susan Expert

on Jan 14, 2018 at 8:32 AM
Lurk before you post, there are plenty of discussions on how it is rude to ask for money in any capacity.
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Future Mrs B Super

on Jan 14, 2018 at 8:41 AM
Don't do a registry, don't have a shower and you will get money. It's now proper to ask for it. You could always do some upgrades to what you already have.
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MOB So Cal

MOB So Cal

on Jan 14, 2018 at 9:31 AM

Also, recognize that if some of your guests prefer to give physical gifts rather than cash, and you do not provide them with any direction (via a registry), they are very likely to just buy random stuff -- possibly personalized -- etc. This will make it much more difficult for you to return items, because you probably won't know where they bought them (and you can't return a personalized plaque, etc.). It is absolutely rude to say you want cash; however, there is also some risk if you don't register for anything if some of your guests will prefer to bring a gift. (Daughter's friend group are in their early-mid 20's, just starting out. They typically buy gifts, because using sales and/or coupons they can make their limited budgets go further than if they only gave the cash they could afford to spend. You need to really know your crowd.) However, if you register for items at a store like Target, even if you can only return items for credit, you can ultimately use that credit for anything -- including groceries & household goods -- and free up some of your regular income that you'd normally use for those items.

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BohoRN2017

BohoRN2017 Expert

on Jan 14, 2018 at 9:32 AM

Just don't register. Most people know you want money. Of course you will probably have a few people who want to get you a physical gift. Accept it graciously, write a thank you note, and donate the gift to charity or drop off at a thrift store. People who just straight up ask for money are low rent.

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Desiree Beginner

on Jan 14, 2018 at 9:42 AM
This is what we put on the back of our invites

Declining Wedding Gifts 1
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Ashley Savvy

on Jan 14, 2018 at 9:46 AM

Don't register. But asking for cash is not a great plan.

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E&M

E&M Master

on Jan 14, 2018 at 9:47 AM

Don't register and people will get the hint. Don't write anything about monetary gifts on your website or invitations or invitation inserts. Don't even mention monetary gifts.

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Kourt

Kourt Devoted

on Jan 14, 2018 at 9:49 AM
To me the way this is worded makes it seem like you’re asking for money. Gifts are not supposed to be asked for regardless.
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Nas

Nas Master

on Jan 14, 2018 at 9:56 AM
Gifts are not to be expected. Asking for money is rude. Don't make a registry.
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Susan

Susan Expert

on Jan 14, 2018 at 10:03 AM
Nooooooo! Any gift info does not go on invites, not even a registry. This makes it so much worse.
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Amanda

Amanda VIP

on Jan 14, 2018 at 10:06 AM
Honestly . . Imo gifts are for a bridal shower .. and cash if for the wedding day .. I've never even seen an actual gift given at a wedding .. just cards
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Margarita Dedicated

on Jan 14, 2018 at 10:10 AM
Yes rude, don’t mention gifts in any way whatsoever. Humbly accept anything you get from your guests. I only had one person get me an actual gift, the rest was cash. I had 120 guests.
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