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August 2019

Exit Strategy for Parents

Suzie, on June 17, 2019 at 1:13 AM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 27

Once the reception is over and the after party and dancing are underway, is it okay for the parents of the bride and groom to leave and let the "kids" have the remainder of the evening with just their friends/peers? Or are we expected to stay until the end to help with clean-up, etc.

27 Comments

Latest activity by Haley, on June 19, 2019 at 3:22 PM
  • M
    VIP December 2019
    Michelle ·
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    If the venue requires that you clean up after, if you don't do it who will??? You would need to have that set in place to decide if you would be able to leave or not

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  • S
    August 2019
    Suzie ·
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    I think my FDIL would like for the parents to leave early. My son has talked about assigning his groomsmen and groomswomen to clean up. Clean up only involves taking away the things that we brought for decorations, photobooth (we have our own), etc. I would sneak a few of the valuable things I'm taking (antique family heirloom bottles/vases and lace) with me. This could be a little weird, but I won't be leaving without some of those things. The venue takes care of everything else. But traditionally are the parents supposed to stay until all the guests are gone and be there to help supervise clean up even if minor? The bride is more than okay if we leave.

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  • Lynne
    Super August 2022
    Lynne ·
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    I think it is.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    It is fine if you leave, and couple is still there. Some responsible party needs to be on site, that is all.
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  • S
    August 2019
    Suzie ·
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    Thank you all for your comments!

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  • Margaret
    Dedicated June 2020
    Margaret ·
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    I have never heard of parents leaving a wedding to let their kids have fun...it's not a school dance, it's an important day for the parents as well. You're becoming one big family and it's important that you're there to celebrate, during it's entirety and yes, help to clean up.
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  • S
    August 2019
    Suzie ·
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    What if it's what the bride wants? Does the mother of the groom tell her, "No, I'm staying."?

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  • Katie
    Devoted August 2019
    Katie ·
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    I'm confused..are they staying at the venue to continue partying after the reception ends?
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  • C
    Master January 2019
    Cassidy ·
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    Our parents were the last to leave. My parents were probably having more fun than the younger peeps! Plus they helped clean stuff up and carry stuff to our car.
    I think it’s kind of rude to ask them to leave.
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    I honestly think it’s really weird that the bride wants the parents to leave. How old are the bride and groom? This sounds like they’re very young and want to get drunk without their parents around to tell them no. I can’t imagine there’s any other reason for saying they want you to leave. Personally, if my child gets married in the future, unless she elopes I’m going to be there for the entire event.
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  • S
    August 2019
    Suzie ·
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    Not sure what their definition of when the reception ends is, but they have requested that the parents don't stay for the entire time once the dancing gets going. Yeah... it felt a little hurtful.Smiley amazing I had never heard of such a thing. This is my 5th son to get married. Stayed for everything with the others and helped clean up after we sent the couple on their way. It's been more than a decade since our other sons got married. Some other things have changed so was just wondering if this was something more common now.

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  • Katie
    Devoted August 2019
    Katie ·
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    I totally understand how that would be hurtful. The way you phrased it in your original post it sounded like maybe they want to go out with just their friends after the reception, which would make more sense. Maybe clarify with them? Also, though, this is your family and you have every right to stay for the entire ceremony and reception. You can offer your help to clean up, but if they have otherwise worked that out, you may leave when you're ready or at the end of the reception. If it ends up being just their friends towards the end, you may decide that you want to leave before the very end, anyway.
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  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
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    If the parents want and are able to they should stay the whole time.
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  • S
    August 2019
    Suzie ·
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    They are both in their late 20's, college graduates. The bride has been teaching school for 5 years. So... not that young. They've been living together for several years and own a house.

    I want to be there, too, and I'm not sure why she wants the parents to leave. But, again, as the mother of the groom do I tell the bride that I'm not leaving? I don't want to be THAT mother-in-law. Also, they are paying for a large portion of their wedding.

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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    I don’t think it matters who is paying. You can’t invite guests, any guests but especially parents, and then demand they leave before the event is over.
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  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
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    I think y'all are well within your rights to leave whenever you want to.

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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    After reading more of the comments it sounds weird to me. Why do they want you to leave? I get that they want to have fun but they should be able to do it with you included. My parents stayed til the very end and had a blast. There were a few things that people did that shocked them a bit but oh well....it’s a wedding and everyone was just having fun. I say you do what you want. It’s not fair for her to ask you to leave when the fun starts. I would talk to your son about it. Good luck.
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  • Melissa
    VIP September 2019
    Melissa ·
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    Is the after party back at the hotel or at the same venue? I think dancing is a big part of the actual reception, not the after party. I feel like after parties are normally just drinks at the hotel bar or something along those lines. If they are asking you to leave after dinner, I find that unusual and rude. You are a VIP guest and all guests should be allowed to stay the entire time. What if the grandparents or aunts and uncles (basically any “older” relative or guest) wanted to stay and dance? Would they be asked to leave as well?
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  • Margaret
    Dedicated June 2020
    Margaret ·
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    Oh, I apologize; I'd ask the bride when they feel it's right for you guys to go. Leave ball in their court. :-)
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  • Talia
    Super October 2020
    Talia ·
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    Will her parents be leaving too? I think that's strange that she wants you guys to leave

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