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Kansas
Savvy February 2020

How should i notify my guests that i will not have a registry?

Kansas, on August 22, 2019 at 5:27 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 14

My FH and I have lived together for 3 years now, so we do not feel the need for a registry because we already have everything. We are hoping that our guests just give us money ( I know that may sound rude, but I would never word it like that to our guests lol). I believe I put something on our wedding website that states that we do not have a registry, hoping that our guests realize that they can give a cash contribution, but I did not know if I should include something in our invitations that we mail out.


If so, what do you think it should say? I am drawing a blank other than saying: "As you may notice, we do not have a registry, but we are hoping you would contribute to our honeymoon fund." Any input is greatly appreciated! Smiley smile

14 Comments

Latest activity by Lady, on August 23, 2019 at 3:57 PM
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
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    No mention of gifts or a registry goes in the wedding invitation, only a shower invite. If I were you I wouldn’t put anything on the wedding website. Most people know cash is a good gift.
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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
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    No, you shouldn't put anything in the formal invitations about this. Have it on your wedding website, and you can spread the word through your family members if you want. But having it on the invitation is considered kind of tacky.

    You may get questions from guests, and then you can just tell them what you said here.

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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    We already live together and have everything we nee so we didn’t put anything anywhere and when people asked where we were registered we just said we didn’t want gifts only there presence on our special day. Almost everyone gave us money or a gift card even though we truly didn’t want anything. People know cash is a good gift.
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  • Charlotte
    Dedicated August 2019
    Charlotte ·
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    I didn’t have a registry either because I’ve been living in my house for 4 years now so I don’t need any pots or pans. We just set up a honeymoon fund. I just put on the back of my wedding invitations “for more information go to our website.” Then they can see our honeymoon fund. Also we did word of mouth if people asked where we were registered. There was still people who gave us household items for presents at our wedding (which I’m not complaining about) but most people gave us money.

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  • Laura
    Devoted January 2020
    Laura ·
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    Do you actually have a honeymoon set up online? That would be easy to set up and put on your wedding website. If you don’t link any other registries people will get the hint.
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  • Kansas
    Savvy February 2020
    Kansas ·
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    I don't have a honeymoon set up online. How would I go about that? I have never heard of it! I have a wedding website through wedding wire, but that's all.
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  • Kansas
    Savvy February 2020
    Kansas ·
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    Did you set up your honeymoon fund on wedding wire? Or was it something different.
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  • Charlotte
    Dedicated August 2019
    Charlotte ·
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    I set it up on The Knot. It’s really easy to set it up. The money they send goes directly to your bank account. The downside is that there’s a transaction fee for the person putting the money in the fund and it can take upwards to a week. I heard there are better ones out there though like Zola.

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  • Sara
    Super October 2019
    Sara ·
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    I looked into honeymoon funds when I had a friend setting one up, and they all take some kind of cut. I think just not having a registry or fund is better - people will still give you money and you'll get to keep all of it instead of having a website take a percentage
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    You do not tell people anything related to gifts, unless they ask. You don't announce things that assume that of course they want to get you a gift. So they should know you do not have a registry because you have all you need, but would like money for a honeymoon vacation. That is too forward for good manners. . . . If someone checks for a registry, which means they are looking for gift suggestions, there will be none. Not everyone goes to a registry. But those who do not find one, and some others, will ask either of you or your families. If asked, which shows the interest in giving a gift came from them not you, . . . THEN it is fine to say, we have been saving money for a honeymoon, or a new house down payment , or a cocker spaniel. As long as they ask you first . Then you are not greedy for bringing it up, and they can feel generous ( not irritated.)
    As for honeymoon funds, a lot of people do not like the fact that various ones take 3-7 percent of the money. When if they write you a check, you get it all. And many feel cheated, bait and switch, when told they are selecting scuba lessons, or cable car tramway ride, or Sunset Cruise, then hear that couples are not necessarily getting any of that, what they get is a lump sum of money they can spend on back bills, tips for strippers and massage services, or loaning to a friend. Not what they had in mind when they read the honeymoon funds website and thought they were buying an experience for you. In fact, several of the services say in the fine print, in order to give people a chance to do ate as long as possible, we issue a check for your funds a month after your wedding date . People who know nothing about the funds, like them. Those who find the funds take a percentage, dupe them into thinking that you are getting specific things you may never get, and get what you do as much as a month after the wedding, when they paid 3 months before, may get PO that you asked for the honeymoon funds. They could have given you the money, all of it, months before.
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  • Kelly
    Dedicated October 2019
    Kelly ·
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    This is what I put on our wedding site: We are so happy that you’ll be able to join us for our wedding. We are blessed to already have a home filled with all we need. The presence of your company is the only gift we could ask for!

    I figure that if anyone wants to get us a gift, they will either give cash or get a gift that is meaningful to them.

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  • Lara
    Devoted October 2019
    Lara ·
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    I had to fight this battle. Fh and I didn't want one either, but family insisted. Most of our registry is a "funds" registry through The Knot. You can make up amounts and categories (Honeymoon Fund; Remodel Fund; Concert Tickets; Fancy Date Night; Cooking Class, etc.) but it's all cash. People just like to think they are getting you something specific.

    Trust me.

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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    Usually, just not registering at all gives people the hint and they'll give cash!

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  • L
    Lady ·
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    You shouldn't ever put gift or registry info in an invite. Just don't register - people will get it. IF anyone asks, just say you're not registered but you're saving up for a house/vacation/move/etc. You will get cash.

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