Last name change

I don't plan on changing my last name.

If it's that sentimental to you then you shouldn't have to just because that's how it's traditionally done. Also makes sense in terms of not having to change your name in many documents and whatnot

My mom uses her maiden name as her middle name. She was actually pretty disappointed that I didn't do that but my maiden name is really long and one that I was glad to get rid of.

It's something only you and your fiance can decide. I want my husband, children and me to have the same last name. You could always hyphen your last name, or change your middle name to your maiden last name too.

Definitely not bad to keep your last name. My fiance and I are both keeping ours and are planning to hyphenate our kids' last names. It's incredibly common for people to keep their maiden names and there's no reason to change your last name unless you really want to!

I love my last name, and when I brought it up to FH the thought of me keeping my maiden name upset him, though its definitely my choice. I would never hyphenate or make my last name my middle name because FH and I have very similar last names and they'd sound funny.

To us, marriage is about becoming one unit and becoming a family. We want our last names and our childrens last names to be the same for religious reasons and other personal reasons. A friend of mines mom had a different last name than her and she always had trouble with the school system picking her child up and other small inconveniences like that.

Just our personal choice, but having the same last name is super meaningful to us, and changing my name in no way takes away my degrees, or the successes I've achieved for myself. I'm still myself with the same thoughts/beliefs/accomplishments no matter what the name on my license is.

I don't see what would be bad or what you'd have to feel guilty about. In my social circle, it is less common for women to take their husband's names than it is for both partners to hyphenate their names or for no one to change their names. I didn't change mine. That doesn't have anything to do with me loving my husband or vice versa.

Your FH could change his name to yours or you could both hyphenate if you want to have the same last name. There's no hard rule that the woman has to be the one to change.

I have a group of about 8 sorority sisters that I'm close with, 6/8 are married and of those 6, 3 did not change their last name.

Yes, thank you! We shouldn't always assume that the woman in a hetero relationship has to be the one to change her name if the couple wants the same last name. My fiance always jokes about changing his last name to mine, but we're both established in our career (we're both lawyers) and so neither of us are changing names.

I think this is a very personal decision that only you can decide, especially if your FH doesn't mind. You have such a special reason to keep your maiden name. I also will be keeping my maiden name. I am Native American, with a Native American last name. My heritage means a lot to me and don't want a traditional Native American name to die out. If you decide to take his name, you still have the option of hyphenating or making your maiden name your new middle name. Ultimately, follow your heart (cheesy, I know) and do what you think is best. I hope you find peace with whatever decision you make.

I don't have the same reasoning as you, but I am very attached to my last name. I mean I have had it for 30 years!!! I have a Bachelors and Masters degree with that name on it! I worked very hard and did those things on my own, and I feel very sad to change my name. FH last name is Aikey and mine is Purdy... They are both real words, so it makes the decision really difficult to hyphenate... I have it as my UN here to try and get used to it, but it hasn't helped! I go by my middle name, so for me middle-maiden only complicates things! The struggle is real! I see-saw about the idea. Right now I am on the I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE MY NAME side,

Of course it's not bad! Men every day get married and keep their last names, and no one see them as bad, selfish, not committed to the marriage, etc. No one expects a man even to consult with his wife as to her preferences about what his name should be after marriage. Women have the exact same right to decide their own names, and shouldn't be criticized for their choices.