Opening gifts before shower or not?

Open them as soon as they arrive and put a thank you note in the mail.

My shower is the same day and I've also started receiving gifts. It is from someone who lives out of town and won't be attending. I called and said thank you, but I will also send a thank you card at the same time as I send the others (after the shower).

I agree with Kelly. Open them and send thank you notes right away! Keep track of who gives you what and when you send the thank you notes. Always keep it!!

I would open them as well and mail a thank you, makes less stuff you’ll have to open at the shower too

View Quoted Comment I don’t know who it’s from, which is one of the main reasons I want to open them to see if there is a note inside, because I can see all the items that have been purchased but I don’t know who bought them. However, my FH and my mom think we should wait to open lol.. looks like I’m going to have to stare at the boxes until Oct 5 😂

Open them as they come. This makes it much easier for your thank you notes as you can write them slowly and send them out

View Quoted Comment

This is exactly what I keep telling my mom and FH.. lol but they won't budge

View Quoted Comment You don’t want to have to open all of them at once and have to set it up, wash it all... Besides you can start using your goodies already!

I waited to open mine at my shower because I wanted to be surprised. I'm so glad I did it that way and sent thank you notes after the shower. I did know who the gifts were from so I gave her a heads up.that I had received them but was waiting to open them at the shower. She was completely fine with that plan. Best of luck

View Quoted Comment Is it from your registry? Mine was and the note saying which it was from was inside. I feel like the person will probably reach out before then and make sure you recieved the packages. Whenever that occurs you can just explain that your waiting until the actual day and thank them.

Our shower is the same day!

View Quoted Comment Unless mom or FH know they are from a particular person who has specifically said, open at the shower, they should be opened immediately. Inspected for damage. And a note sent, within 2 weeks. These may be wedding gifts sent very early ( up to six months before) or gifts that are intended for you to use before the wedding, like an etiquette book , or stationery with your letterhead, or boxes of 100 thank you cards. And not to be opened at the shower. Meanwhile, the gift giver's is waiting to hear their gift has been delivered. And depending on the store and carrier, all insurance expires 14-30 days after original purchase or scheduled delivery date. Hold it 3 months before opening, and it was broken during delivery? Tough luck, they won't replace it. Mis delivered to someone else? Giver needs to know by the abs nce if a note from you that you did not get it. Open it, inspect it, send a thank you immediately for every gift up to a week or two before your wedding . . . . If mom or groom were not told by someone, wait til the shower, for a particular gift: go to the library, or better a used book store. Buy a traditional all around etiquette book, with 1-2 chapters on weddings ( half the price of ones for weddings). And show mom and FI that you are following accepted standards if good manners. And keep the book around for other disputes, and to learn things about entertaining, all lifetime occasions. . . . This is the penalty if you do not open it: I was recently a MOH. Bride called shrieking after her shower from hometown friends and family. She had saved a gift that arrived 10 weeks before her shower, 16 weeks before the June wedding. It was a "to get you through your wedding planning" box. Old roommate friends from the West coast, since they would miss all pre-wedding things, decided to send a gift for each of the last 4 months if planning. Put in with 4 boxes of 100 thank you cards, formal and informal, and 2 books 100 of stamps, at 1oz rate and at 2 oz rate. And tucked in with them were Knicks Celtics tickets for 2, and 2 concerts by favorite groups, and a $100 restaurant gift certificate. And the game and the 2 concerts had gone by while the box sat on a dresser waiting to be opened. 4 friends spent $700, and all they could still use was stationery and one restaurant gift certificate. And though they had sent out the invitations, the only thing needing 2 oz wt stamps, they had those for the future too.

I did not open any of my gifts that came in the mail. I kept them sealed & opened them at the shower. If they did not attend the shower I still brought it and said "blah" from "Blah" & then sent a Thank you card with the rest.

Glad I searched in the forums because I was going to ask the same. Shower isn't for another month and received gifts yesterday. I feel kinda guilty using them already, but I'm sending out thank you notes ASAP.

View Quoted Comment

I received gifts from my close cousin who will be attending the shower. Is it assumed she sent a gift earlier or do I publicly thank her at the shower for the gift received a month prior? I don't want people to think she came empty handed.

View Quoted Comment I assume she sent it to your home to make it easier on you. I would just open it and send a thank you now. You can thank her again at the shower as well if you want. We had quite a few people send things to our home but still come to our shower.

View Quoted Comment

Thanks! You always give such great advice on these forums.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!

View Quoted Comment

That is such a bummer about those missed tickets!