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Krista
Savvy May 2020

Rehearsal Brunch

Krista, on August 21, 2019 at 8:56 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 5
Hi everyone, just wanting to get an opinion on my FMIL wanting to host the rehearsal brunch. She has repeatedly mention how she's been wanting to host this - which is totally fine with me. I'm like you go girl, I am all for it. You do it all, just tell me the place and time and we will be there.


I originally didn't want to have this along with bridal shower since a lot of people have been saying "I got this" and they come to me needing this and that and telling me to do stuff. I know it would just be another thing for me at the end to plan and I am already swamped with so many other things in life, not to mention the cost of the wedding (we are currently sitting at 33k). So things like bridal shower and brunch are extra for me that I don't care to have.


My FMIL reached out to my FH saying how we should split the cost of the rehearsal brunch..... If she wants to so desperately host it, shouldn't she be paying...? Also she started reaching out to me asking if I can get in contact with the wedding planner for the rehearsal brunch venue. So basically, I will be planning and working on this one, when the reason why I didn't even want one in the first place was because of work, time, stress, and finance. I have made it clear of that to her before, to which, she said, "that's fine, I will happy to host it". If you are hosting an event, doing venue research, finance, food, and greeting/hosting people are all part of the responsibilities! The wedding ceremony - my FH and I will be doing it all, and we're happy to. But it just doesn't make sense when people so confidently say "They got this" and come back to me with "can you do this, can you do that".

When people say, "I got this, I will do it all, I will host it", shouldn't it mean they will be in charge of the whole thing from A-Z? My opinion is if you are going to do it all, do it ALL. Don't half ass it because it will fall in my lap - which is the reason why I didn't want to have it in the first place.

I'd be so extremely happy to give help to anyone and everyone that needs it but not when they are saying, "you don't need to do a thing, don't worry about it, this is why im hosting it"

This is why I didn't want to have a rehearsal brunch in the first place. I couldn't care for it, if someone wants to have it, they can have it and I'll be there for it or I guess I don't even need to be. (This is how little I care for my rehearsal brunch, which, I guess, looks like it will fall on my lap).

Thanks for listening to my concern/rant....

5 Comments

Latest activity by Lady, on August 22, 2019 at 3:40 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    If you don’t feel like you need a rehearsal, skip it and the brunch. Tell your FMIL that you appreciate her offer, but you’d prefer to just not have one.
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  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
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    This plus if it is on a weekday people will
    have to go in late or take off for work.
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  • Sara
    Super October 2019
    Sara ·
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    Yeah, I think if she's offering to host, I'd expect her to pay and coordinate. If you have a wedding planner, your FMIL should be able to go to the planner directly herself. We ended up coordinating our rehearsal dinner that my future in-laws are hosting just because it was easier and I didn't mind, but if it's stressing you out, I think you should let her know. Either have your FH talk to her, or talk to her yourself (an email is fine if it's easier for you) and say that you don't have room in your budget to help cover the costs and also don't have time help plan it. I'd also leave your planner's contact info so she can talk to them if she's still interested in covering everything herself.

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  • Lara
    Devoted October 2019
    Lara ·
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    Yeah, she should be the one to pay. But since she's already asked you guys to help I would say that coordinating the brunch and paying for it are stretching you a bit too thin and so you would like to cancel it.

    Thank her for offering to host, but you would rather do XXXX after the rehearsal instead of a brunch.

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  • L
    Lady ·
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    This sounds like my MIL. She wanted a million little details and offered to handle a bunch of stuff but then would ask me so many questions and "run things by me" that I basically ended up putting together a bunch of stuff I didn't care about in the first place. No real advice - just wanted to say I understand how you feel!

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