"Shacking Up" Before Marriage

Well.... In my younger days, I refused to live with my ex fiancee before marriage. Lucky for me I stuck to my guns, because it didn't work out.

Fast forward tens years and I'm living with my Fiancee and "our" eight year old son( I've laid claim, since I spend more time with him than his mother)

It was definitely a trying first three months. I think living together helped us work out the wrinkles in our relationship.

I think we will have a stronger relationship because of it.
That being said, I wouldn't have lived with him indefinitely, if he hadn't proposed
Thankfully, he "put a ring on it " 😆

I completely agree with you on this. I wouldn’t buy a car without test driving it first. Lol! My fiancé and I have been living together for over two years now. We’ve been together for four. I’m happy we made the decision to live together before getting married. We have learned so much and our relationship has only gotten stronger.

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I also think that my husband and I living together before marriage made our relationship stronger.

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Do you think that living together before marriage lessens the chances of marriage actually happening?

View Quoted Comment Probably in a lot of cases, sure. I feel like too many people rush into things only to find that they aren’t truly happy in that situation. Moving in with someone is easy to end if things don’t work out or you have a change of heart. Marriage is a lot trickier. I know it goes against religion and all, but I honestly think it’s best to live together first. For me at least.

I definitely am pro living together before marriage. I have friends who didn’t and the transition for them was absolutely horrible. We’ve been living together for almost 3 years and it’s made life so much easier!

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I completely agree with you.

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I couldn't imagine being with my then boyfriend for 7 years in separate households and then transiting into one living space for marriage.

I honestly think it’s a bad idea not to live together before marriage. Living together changes the whole dynamic of a relationship. I feel the same way about sex before marriage. Sexual compatibility is way too important to me to chance it.

I'm pro "living in sin". There is so much you learn about a partner other than sex when living together that honestly could tell you whether or not that person is right for you. How money is handled, who is messier, are there expectations of who handles which chores, etc. Most can be worked out but then you find some guys who want to end up living with a woman who takes care of them like their mother did...and then have sex at night. Which is fine if you CHOOSE that dynamic before marriage and not wed into it blindly.
On the darker side a person may not seem particularly abusive other than a few minor red flags but that can quickly change when living together.

I believe once a commitment is made between you, your fiance and God you're married. A wedding and a marriage certificate is a legal formality not a spiritual one. I grew up in church and was taught exactly what you were but the legality of it isn't supported in scripture.

My fiancé and I have been living together so far for a year after three years of a long distance relationship because I was finishing up with school. Ideally my grandfather who is my father figure was not keen on it because of his beliefs and how he was raised, however my grandmother and nana believed it was totally necessary for us. They felt you actually get to learn the person in ways that you wouldn’t be able to till you were actually married. We’ve had our disagreements and boy has it been an adjustment for both us, especially because I moved an hour and a half away from family. But living together before the marriage has made us stronger and really showed us how to compromise. It also has helped us have a clear understanding on finances and a how we want to achieve future goals. I’ve also learn to stop being so selfish which I wasn’t aware I was that much since I was basically an only girl and literally got whatever I wanted growing up

View Quoted Comment I agree with this! I moved in with my FH due to financial reasons but it has been wonderful and I love doing all of the boring life things like grocery shopping and cleaning with him

Since you asked my response is simple you either believe in God and the Bible or you don't. It's not about what you think is right or wrong it's what the Bible says which is what God says. I am going off the notion that you believe the Bible is the inspired word of God if that's not the case forget all of this I guess. But if it is the guess sex before marriage is a sin and although the Bible doesn't say you can't live wiith your boyfriend or fiance it's implied because you shouldn't be having sex. As for trying it out and all that..if you are marrying the person there should not be any thing short of abuse that would result in you divorcing so it doesn't matter if they leave clothes on the floor or snoore or leave dishes in the sink. Both of you should be putting God first (seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all else will...) And pursuing holiness and if behavior annoys the other one person should learn not to be annoyed and the other person should stop doing it. Regardless there is no way to justify living together before marriage. So you either are living in disobedience or you never really believed what the Bible said. If you don't believe in God and the Bible then it doesn't matter.

My fiance and I have lived together since we started dating. I know what I'm getting myself into.

Have been together 6 years and lived together 3. Wouldn’t have it any other way. Would much rather build the relationship up like we have before getting married than realizing it may not have worked out after the fact.

We have been together for a little over 6 years, and we have lived together for almost 5 years. I would never marry someone I didn't live with first. Having started building our life together, we are well aware of each other's idiosyncrasies, daily habits, etc. We have developed a financial plan for the household over this time and have a good system and goals that we know work for us as a couple and as an eventual family once we have kids down the line. Neither of us has a doubt in our mind about our upcoming marriage, as we are basically married in every sense of the word other than legally. I would not have this sense of certainty in making such an important commitment if we had not lived together all these years.

My dad is extremely against me and my FH living together but we had a three year long distance relationship (he was in the military) and wanted to be able to see each other more than once a week (he would have to live an hour away if not with me because we both can’t afford rent in the city). So it made the most sense to live together. I was worried about us being together longer than a few weeks at a time. Fastest way to clear that up is to live with someone lol. He drives me crazy at times but he also cheers me up. I wouldn’t be sure about marrying him without seeing all sides!

FH and I have been together for 4 years and lived together for 2 years. I have to admit at first I was against it, but now looking back it was the best decision ever. As a couple we have grown so much, yes there were some ruff days, but the good days and overall experience made it all worth it. Now we are about a month before our wedding day and we both feel confident and secure in our relationship, and ready to legally husband and wife.

We've been shacking up for 3 out of our 7 years together. If we had it our way, it would've been 7 out of the 7 lol