How To Deal With Parents That Can't Say No (Or Yes!)
Some parents have the need to please and won't turn anything down, or they're the complete opposite. Here’s how to deal with those that can't say no (or yes!) below.
Photo: Alicia Petitti Photography
Don’t forget about the two most important people in your life during the wedding planning process: dear old mom and dad.
After all, they were the ones that loved you first before your fiancé(e)! Some of you may have parents who have the need to please and won't, without a doubt, turn anything down, or the complete opposite. Here’s how to deal with those that can't say no (or yes!) below:
Put yourself in their shoes.
Your parents are likely hosting a majority of the events and dealing with corresponding vendors for each. (i.e. venue, photographer, videographer, event planner, florist, caterer, cake baker, dj/band, etc.). Phew, that’s a lot! Your job is to lend a helping hand. Even if it means pitching in for your wedding gown or extra expenses.
Control the urge to splurge.
There will be times when you can't control your need for Pinterest-inspired details. Try your best to pull in the reigns so there is not a UPS or Fedex truck at your house each day delivering packages. Remember to make your wedding personalized to your preferences; in other words, uniquely you, and one that doesn’t necessarily require an overload of decor items.
Meet them in the middle.
It's all about compromise. If you really want the sequin linens, but know they will cost a fortune, opt to have it only on your sweetheart table instead. Or if you’re dying to have a food truck on-call for a late-night snack, go for a cocktail or buffet-style dinner instead of plated.
Consider old and new traditions.
Weddings are completely different than what they were 10, 20, or 30 years ago. Your parents might not understand why you want to see your soon-to-be husband before the ceremony or why you want guests to sit wherever they like. That’s okay! As long as you incorporate their past into your future in some way, you should be able to see eye to eye.
Think about your siblings.
You may or may not be the first to get married of the bunch. Your parents will likely have to help pay for other weddings down the road, which means you can’t always get a response such as, “Whatever you want honey,” or “I just write the checks.” Do not take away from what your siblings deserve too. Try to stick to your budget as much as possible. Even it's not as easy as it looks on paper.
Express your excitement.
Show your enthusiasm. Don't become a bridezilla, and let it ruin your outlook on the occasion. This is a long, happy time coming for your parents, you would not want to spoil it for them either. Hello, you are about to marry your confidant and celebrate with your closest family and friends. Everything else is simply frosting on the cake!
Say thank you often.
It can be easy to feel upset or hurt feelings when opinions are tossed around left and right. But the only two words that your parents want to hear before and after are thank you. If you want to go the extra mile, gift them a special keepsake. Handkerchiefs are perfect for mom and a tie patch is perfect for dad.
