Planning Basics

Wedding Planning Advice You Can Politely Ignore

By Alex Reardon, February 16, 2017
Alex Reardon
Wedding Planning Advice You Can Politely Ignore

If you’re planning a wedding, you’ve probably encountered your share of opinions. Here are six nuggets of (non)wisdom you have our full permission to leave at the curb.

Photo: Rebecca Denton Photography

If you’re planning a wedding, you’ve probably encountered your fair share of (ahem—mostly unsolicited) opinions. Everyone including your mom’s gal pal from knitting club and that random dude on the subway seems to have two cents to add.

When advice is being hurled at you from every direction, sometimes the good old trusty “smile and nod” is your best bet. Here are six nuggets of (non)wisdom you have our full permission to leave at the curb. #thanksbutnothanks


You should really tone up/color your hair/whiten those teeth/do something about those eye bags for the wedding.
Um, thanks? Ignore. Your fiancé(e) loves you just the way you are (cliché but oh-so true!) and you don’t have to alter your appearance one bit for your wedding day if you don’t want to. Don’t let misguided personal comments get to you. If you feel comfortable, that’s all that matters!

No need for a rain plan—that’s negative thinking!
A positive outlook might keep the metaphorical clouds at bay, but that’s not what we’re going for here. Having a Plan B doesn’t make you Debbie Downer—it just makes you a smart planner. Also, Murphy’s Law says that if you don’t have a rain plan, it will rain. So there’s that.

Do whatever she wants—it’s her big day!
Sadly, these types of comments are made to grooms all too often. A wedding is a celebration of two people, and both should have a say in the details of the day.

All that matters is how it looks.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a breathtaking reception scene. But the experience is kiiiind of important. Guests will notice the food, the music, and whether you provided fans and/or water before asking them to sit through that hour-plus outdoor ceremony on a scorching July afternoon. You don’t want to neglect those details. Here are a few wedding guest pet peeves to keep in mind while planning.

Don’t do a first look.
A first look makes sense for some couples. For others, it doesn’t. Either way, the decision should be made by you and your fiancé(e)—nobody else. Members of older generations in particular might try to dissuade you from observing this more modern tradition simply because they aren’t familiar with it. There are merits to both sides of the first look debate, and whether you choose to do one will depend on schedule, personal preferences, and other factors that have nothing to do with your great aunt so-and-so’s opinion on the matter. (But love you, Great Aunt So-and-So!) If you really want to do a first look, don’t let well-meaning friends or relatives talk you out of it. And on a related note...

Don’t skip that tradition!
Certain wedding traditions that were once non-negotiable are now...well...negotiable. Receiving line, garter toss, and bouquet toss come to mind, but here are some more. When it comes to modern day weddings, the rule is there are no rules. Don’t let yourself get pressured into observing any traditions you don’t feel fit in with your day.

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